A lesson I learned and I am still learning. As a parent, as an educator, and as a learner, I am still learning when to take control and when to be patient and listen more to the directions of others. I am a control freak. I think.
An example I might share is from taking students into the out-of-doors and doing the classic, “Leader for the Day.”
Having students be in charge of course decisions is a good thing. When hiking in the wilds of Yosemite, the Grand Canyon, or the Redwoods, we might find a nice venue for making decisions in an unfamiliar place. And it offers learners some awesome real-world results for their decisions.
My short version of this “failure” might be that I too often stepped in, too early, and took the reins back. I would use the “leader for the day” on longer trips and sometime it would end up being “leader for the half-day.” Either way, I can recall the feeling I had when I would be going along with the student leader till some choice they made seemed less than ideal. I would want to redirect/override the decision. I would usually advocate too much for my position and they would often be swayed to my choice rather than their own best guess based on the group dynamics.
This happens in the classroom as well. It is the same dilemma as the “pregnant pause” and those moments of time when you can let the group ponder or start talking and move somewhere else. Too often we jump in too early and drive the class discussion as we see fit rather than listening to the students. I think about that a lot when I talk with anyone. I need to listen more and talk less.
As a parent, I need to listen more. Same situation.
I suppose that my learning is in progress. I am trying to listen more to everyone.
Never give in, and never surrender. You must take even more control now, and listen even less! This is the way forward 🙂
Remember:
“It is simple: I am the leader. My vessel, my surrogate, the bag of bones living a life Treme and Game of Thrones as evening fun, this Jim Groom, is the worker bee. He does my bidding….”
from https://droblivion.wordpress.com
I understand. I am in control.
More or less, yes.
“yes” is the best 🙂
How wonderful that you have the opportunity to take students to places like Yosemite and the Grand Canyon! I do field trips to local ecosystems with my students, but that’s just a couple of hours.
I think, usually, any time outside of the “classroom” or “school” is a good thing. I often hear how difficult it is to get the school bus or the help needed to get out. I wish it were more of a priority at schools and not made to be so difficult.
I’ve been there so many times, but ah that feeling when we have stepped back and out and have allowed the kids take control of the conversation and activity. We just want the best for those in our care, and so letting go is hard. Yet, it is often those times when the kids took control that the kids remember most and thank us for it. In this we always strive for balance. This post, a good reminder. Thanks, ~ Sheri
Thanks Sheri!
Listening is such an important part of teaching, parenting, life in general – yes!